Movement Burnout

The movement can be hard anyone whoever tells you otherwise is grossly misinformed. The desire to always want to bring things to fruition with little help, little money and little voice is a powerful way to wear you down. I have not been able to quite figure out how to get my message about the power of Blackness out effectively and its been a struggle. The reality is with anything you are passionate about the more you are unable to use it the more you become frustrated with life. For me that has been exactly how this love affair with my favorite subject has gone. Living in an area like Northwest Arkansas does not provide many opportunities for cultural expression it almost seems as though you have the Black people running away from Blackness, running to an area where there is more Blackness, or just completely out of the loop altogether for failure to provide a main source where all information and culture can be seen and distributed. I know what you're thinking the church right? That should provide some area of connection right? To some extent it does but the community makes the church not the leadership and lets just say its always an adjustment for me dealing with the community. All these factors have worn me down for some time as it relates to Black History. When I was in college I had this idea I would eventually stumble into this SNCC (Student Non Violent Coordinating Committee) experience where I could serve the community and be empowered but the reality is that doesn't quite exist anymore. The reality is now I have to do it all by myself and that can be very disheartening. Additionally, losing someone who enjoyed Black History as much as I did and dating someone who was not as interested in it did not give me much room to nurture my natural gift for the study of the discipline. As I suit up for another battle to influence a generation to study history I am armed with a little more wisdom and hoping this time I can get it right.